Updates---8/30/2012---10:30 p.m.

Hello Hello Hello Everyone!

I am posting this live from the BR...finally. I came here on the twelfth of this month and I have been her every since. I am having the time of my life and I haven't even thought to be homesick. Anywhoo, on a more serious note. Classes have just started and I am still adjusting to things. Not to mention, Hurricane Isaac hit yesterday and it put us out of class for a few days. I just found out that the school has canceled Fall Break to play catch up. It's just taking a little longer than I thought it would be to get settled. With that being said, Hardcore Awareness is being postponed until further notice. I need to take some time off to find that perfect balance between everything that I have going on right now. This break does not have anything to do with What it Takes to Keep Her. That is still set to hit within the next couple of weeks, so tell a friend. I still will be working diligently to complete the first book to my YA serious as well.


Until next time...
Queen B

I Need Suggestions---8/3/2012---1:33 pm

Hey Readers!

August is almost here and is a lot that is going to be happening. I am moving next week, so after I am all settled, I can get down to business. For one, I should have What it Takes to Keep Her on sale. Then my new blog will be up and running properly. Speaking of that blog, now that everybody knows what it is about, I need suggestions. By the way, if you don't know, go back and read my last post. Anywhoo, I want to know what stories you'd like to know my opinion on and what topic you want me to create and awareness story on. I'd rather you send me your comments to my email at hardcoreawareness@gmail.com. Although I will be writing about what I want, I do want to include some of what you want to read about.You are the readers so your opinion matters to me. Give me some feedback or don't have your lips poked out when I don't talk about stories you want to see.

Even though I haven't official done any real post yet, I went ahead and posted my introduction post. The blog is under contruction, but it is up at http://hardcore-awareness.blogspot.com/ so you can already be follwing me. I want that blog to be more popular than this one so follow me and tell all your friends to. Trust it will be worth it.
Thanks!

Queen B.

My Moment of Clarity---7/26/2012---3:16 p.m.

Hey Readers,

I know you have heard me say this many times, but it has been a longtime since my last blog post.  By now, we are way past me apologizing for it as I’ve done numerous times in the past. So as you probably guessed, this post is going to be extremely long. Now, since my last post I have been taking some time off from everything…including my book. I know you guys are thinking, “How could you take off at a time like this when you wanted to be done with your book in two months?” I know there’s only like two weeks left in that deadline, but I am so over that now. I just started on my second chapter in this book, but I had to, once again, calm down and take a breather. I rush things way too much and that is why I decided to take a break in the middle of my goal deadline. On the other hand, I did finally pull out What It Takes to Keep Her and finished editing it. The only thing I have left to do now it create all my files and get the book on Amazon, which is still set to happen late August or early September.

I finally moved out of my house and in with my sister for the summer until I leave for the south. That was step one of my break and everybody around me who knows my situation can see that I am genuinely happier now. Not to mention, I finally finished my Calculus test with a 94%. I will be in Honors Calculus in the fall! People always complained about how hard Calculus is, but try teaching yourself Calculus and then you’ll actually have something to complain about. Math at my school sucked almost as much as the science did. I hadn’t seen a Calculus problem until after graduation and going into college. Believe me, after all that, I needed a break.

 Anywhoo, my point is I have discovered some things about myself. First of all, you all went through my little breakdown after my article in the newspaper came out. That is also the reason I rushed to get my YA novels on sale. I got people in my hometown waiting for copies of a book that isn’t finished yet…crazy isn’t it? Let’s just hope they don’t Google my name alongside the word book. Heck just Googling my name will bring up all my accomplishments plus a link to this blog and they can find out all the information they need to know from this website. Anyway, in my rush to get out my YA novels, I pushed back the deadline to the second edition of the Boss Bitch Chronicles and I didn’t finish editing it. Well, as I said earlier, I finished editing it and as I finished the last two chapters, I remembered why I started writing in the first place. For some reason, I tend to forget what I wrote, so it was very entertaining to read the ending and I can’t wait to write the third book of the series. I can honestly say that I fell in love with writing again.

Second of all, I was riding around with my sister last night and she was listening to some Christian Rap cds. Well the singers and rappers are a girl that I went to school with and her older brother. She is a friend of mine and they both work with my sister. Anyways, they are making a name for themselves and I’m really proud of what they are doing. It got me to thinking about what I want to do. I admit, I can be over the top and too honest at times, but I’m a realist and I like to speak my mind. For example, a lot of people may feel offended that I chose to portray Khloe Shelton as a Madam who enslaved underage girls for sex and that I actually went into details in some scenes. Well in reality, people are kidnapping young girls and pimping them out to older men, but nobody likes to entertain that thought. It doesn’t mean I support it, but people should not be ignorant about what goes on in today’s world. I was thinking about the documentary that I made for my senior project on Alzheimer’s. It was basically fifteen minutes of the real truth behind caring for an Alzheimer’s patient and having an Alzheimer’s patient in your family. Even though it was my family that was being documented, it was a start and I actually enjoyed making the film. The judges gave me a 95% and the loved it. They even told me that they knew of the disease but they had no idea the emotional and physical effect it had on people. So basically, I’m in that stage where I’m back at square one again. During my ride, I got to thinking that I wanted to do something different with my writing. I love controversial literature and Khloe’s story in the Boss Bitch Chronicles is definitely controversial. The audience loves to respond to controversy so I am just going to feed off of that, which brings me to my next decision. I want to bring reality to the public and I want to speak my mind on whatever subject that arises. That is going to be the topic of my next blog. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not gonna’ start one of those blogs where I dog out something the next hottest celebrity is doing. I’m taking about shocking breaking news and other controversial issues like corporal punishment, marriage, girl code, and etc. The only issue I may shy away from is politics, because I’m not a huge political person. I try to avoid it as much as possible, but I guess I never had a reason to care. Heck, I only registered to vote because my sister felt that it was important. Who knows, I’m older now and I should probably get educated on that subject. Anywhoo, I am in the process of creating a new blog and it should go public around the time What it Takes to Keep Her comes out. This is just going to be a trial run to see if I can actually find the time to pull it off and to see how the pubic takes it. If it doesn’t work for me, I’ll stop and find another subject. By the way, I’m letting you all know now that I will be posting the link to my other blog and it would mean a lot if you follow me on that blog.

I think that’s all for now so…

Until next time, tell me what do you think?

Queen B

My YA Book Is Off To A Great Start!---6/25/2012---10:25 a.m.

Hey Readers,

Since my last post I've learned one thing, I need to have a little more faith in my work. When I was reading some of my comments from the last post, I realized how nervous I am about everything all the time. I think it all boils down to first impressions. People are entitled to have their opinions about everything, and some people really let you have it. I think my nerves boils down to making the right first impression for me. I don't care about having negative comments, but I'd rather have good ones first. You know, being a new name has a better chance if you have good recommendations and a few dislikes. It's harder when you start off with terrible comments and then you try to improve later. Well, the latter is something I don't want to be faced with and I'm sure every new author has been nervous about their first review.

Anywhoo, I haven't been home since Friday and I've already gotten a lot of work done. I stayed up until two a.m. this morning just to finish Chapter 1. I have been procrastinating for the past month. At first, I was always distracted with my sister and her horrible kids living in my house, but by the time I get two hours alone, the last thing I want to do is write since I be screaming for sleep by the time they leave the house. Thankfully my other sister let me crash at her house and I slept half of Saturday. Then, I got up to cook dinner, because I was expecting my mother and I wanted to at least have everything on the stove by the time she walked through the door. I got a little housework done and got kids squared away. Folding clothes is not something I do often. I hate it with a passion, but I actually washed and folded my clothes and washed my mother's clothes too. After we ate, I slept from then until Sunday. Now I actually woke up pretty early Sunday. My church traveled to Dallas yesterday, so I didn't have to worry about missing service. I'm still a kid at heart, so I watched cartoons until about noon. I have to watch my Smurfs and Winx Club on Sundays. After that went off, I grabbed my laptop and said I have to finish this chapter. I had promised myself that I would finish it, but the weekend was almost over and I was about to break another promise to myself. Of course, I had to procrastinate one last time, so I played one of the yahoo trial games. Ya'll know those trials only last an hour, so I didn't actually start writing until one. I actually got a little buzz going on and that's when my other sister's boyfriend called my mama. He was like, his daughter called and said somebody was trying to break in the house and both my sister and she were out of breath. He was talking to her and the phone cut off. He tried calling back but the line stayed busy and that’s when he called the police. He doesn't have a car so he's stuck at his parent's house. That's when my mama, my other sister and her kids, and I drove down there. Before all of this, my granddaddy had left like at seven that morning and my sister had had her car broken into while at work. She's even heard people messing with her car and our dogs barking frantically when my mother and I aren't home. My sister gets involved with strange people, so I thought she had pissed off the wrong person. We stay deep in the woods so it seemed ridiculous for somebody to break in our house. I mean, first of all, somebody had to find us and where we live, you won't find us if you aren't looking for us. However, with the past instances, to me, it made sense that if somebody was after her they would wait until she was home alone with her kids.

Now we get down there and we meet the cops coming out of our road. We get to the house and my sister came back to the car and said our niece and nephew had been playing on the phone. I come in, my oldest sister is fussing and my granddaddy is sitting on the arm of the couch. I didn't even know he had come home. You see my sister was in the bathroom taking a bath. When she came out to get dressed, her youngest son told her that the cops were outside. Of course, this was the very first time my sister or my granddaddy was hearing anything about this alleged break in. It turns out that my oldest nephew had lied to his other grandmother and he was acting like he was his sister. Ya'll know the bad girl that I told ya'll about in a past post that I got into a fight with. I told you she lies, so it made sense that she would've done it. Everybody thought she had done it, but the one time she was telling the truth nobody believe it until she started explaining her case and her story matched ours. Anywhoo, my nephew told they granny that somebody was breaking in so she past the phone to her son, which is their father. Our phone lines are nigga rigged so one wrong move can unplug the lines, which is exactly what he had done and didn't know it. Therefore, he didn't get a chance to tell his daddy he was only joking. That explains the phones mysteriously cutting off during the conversation. It also explains why the line stayed busy when we were trying to reach them, which is why their father called the police. Our grandfather said that the police wanted them to talk to the children, because if our number shows up for real the next time it would seem like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. You know the law doesn't condone whipping your kids, but being from a southern black family we read the bible and we firmly believe in the scripture that says, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." To each it's own, but I am glad my mother whipped me. I turned out perfect fine, so did my sisters, so did my mother and her siblings, and their mother and so on and so forth. There is a difference between chastisement and child abuse, which is where most people get confused...end of story.

Anywhoo, I finally made it back to where I was staying for the weekend around three something. I went to the store and made it back to my laptop around five. I stayed on my laptop from five until two this morning. Counting the hour I wrote before I was interrupted, I spent a good ten hours working. Now you see what I can get done when I'm not bothered?

Finishing my first chapter is, for me, the most important stage in writing a book. Finishing the first chapter is like signing a contract for me. You know once it's finished, I'm stuck until the contract expires, or rather, the last chapter is finished. The first chapter is the most difficult for me because it determines how the rest of the book will go. It's like my road map, and after I finish my map, the rest just comes naturally. I have nine chapters to go and if I work at this rate, I will be meeting my two month deadline.

Now the second most important stage for writing a book, for me, is the cover. I usually start working on my cover anywhere after the hallway point, but a ways before the ending. Then, I release it. Releasing a cover creates your "buzz." It also serves as motivation to complete your book. Of course, it's tempting to throw your book out, or ideas rather, when you haven't finished chapter one. However, I find it just as easy to throw in the towel when you are chapters into a book, but you just happen to get stuck. You can end up with writer's block anywhere from a few days to a few years. It took me a few years with my first book, but everything after that I only had it for about a week tops. Anyways, when you get stuck and you know you want to continue, just create your cover and release it. The cover not only makes it seem real for you, but it makes you feel like you have to finish because if you don't you'll look like a quitter to your fan base. Then at that current time, your fan base is so small that you'll do anything to keep them, so the last thing you'd want to do is release a cover and a book summary, and then rip it all away as soon as the public gets excited about it.

Anyways, that's my advice for the day. Of course, when you accomplish one thing, another problem arises. I am beginning to tap into a whole-nother genre and I feel like I am starting over with everything, but I'm willing to take that risk. With that being said, I am going to start another blog, but I don't know what it should be about. It is solely for my YA author image, but I'm not looking to do any type of review. I think review blogs are too common and starting one would just give me more work. I barely have time to write, let alone read and critique. And then there is this blog, my followers from here knows that I talk about whatever comes to mind on this one, so the last thing I need to do is start another blog just to do the same thing. After all, things would become sort of redundant and that's the last thing I want. I still want my topic to be YA fiction related, but I want it to be out of the box. If you have any suggestions, please let me know in a comment or just email me at qbreean@yahoo.com. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Until next time, tell me what you think...

Queen B.

I Scored My First Book Review---6/18/2012---2:40 p.m.

Good Evening Readers,

In my attempts to increase my number of followers, ya'll know the old trick, follow for a follow, everybody does it or has done it in one point in time...well I got in touch with a blogger who does book reviews. She is the writer of http://curseofthebibliophile.blogspot.com/ but that is just one of the many blogs that she manages. She volunteered to do this review and I immediately agreed. You guys should know by now that I jump at things and then think about the consequences later. Well, about an hour after I agreed to it, I got really nervous; after all, reviewers can be brutally honest at times and if she didn't like it, I'd be screwed. This was a few weeks ago and I never saw the review. My friend said he saw it, but that was during the time that I took my books off sale. When I realized my review could've went away with my books, I panicked and I immediately contacted Kate earlier last week.

Anywhoo, a few minutes ago I logged onto my email and I had an email from Kate. She had posted her review in four different spots:

1) Her Blog:  http://curseofthebibliophile.blogspot.com/2012/06/what-it-took-to-get-her-part-1-boss.html

2) Shelfari: http://www.shelfari.com/books/26697037/What-It-Took-To-Get-Her-%28The-Boss-Bitch-Chronicles%29/reviews/3632108

3) Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/review/R3E5MS1WKOINVO/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B0066CAPC4&nodeID=133140011&store=digital-text

4) Librarything:  http://www.librarything.com/work/12701493/book/86825735


They all, of course, have the same review, so if you want to, just click on one of the links to see it for yourself. Thankfully, she loved the book and I'm sure you will too.

Until next time,

Queen B

What's Going On---6/13/2012---10:06 a.m.

Hey Readers,

First of all, What it Takes to Keep Her is finished, minus a few editing issues. For those of you who are new to this site, What it Takes to Keep Her is the second book in my Boss Bitch Chronicles trilogy, so in the meantime, you can pick up your copy of the first book, What it Took to Get Her, on amazon. Just type in Boss Bitch Chronicles and they all should pop up. You can expect the second one to be release in August or September, because I am thinking about publishing this one through Lighting Source. Until then, my manuscript is literally on the floor in a binder behind my bed.

Anywhoo, in my last post I informed you that I am working on my first YA fiction novel. Well, I am still on Chapter 1 of that. I'm still living in a noisy house, so it gets pretty hard to concentrate at times. My only real issue is is how to promote. Queen B has a blog, a twitter, a facebook page, and several blog networking accounts. I'm trying to decide whether or not to create separate accounts for my YA persona. I am stuck on that, so will you guys please voice your opinions on that one.

Things are slowly picking up for me. I finally have a somebody to handle my PR. She doesn't start until August, but I'm happy to at least have somebody to do it. Now all I have to do is focus on writing.

Until next time,

Queen B.

My Books Are Of Sale For A Few Days---6/4/2012---12:10 p.m.

Hey Guys,

Another church member of mine called and asked me how to get to my book. I admit it, I sent her on a wild goose hunt like I do with everybody else who asks. My mother even asked me why I did the article if I didn't want anybody to find my book. To stop with all the questions, I just simply told people I took them off sale for grammatical corrections. My sister talked to me and she was saying, "I can't believe you wrote that. I didn't even finish the first two chapters because I didn't want to read anymore. It's just not a good look if you are in church every Sunday." (Or rather every other Sunday in my case). My pastor's wife is a second mother to me, so my sister and my mother asked me what I'd do if she found out. Now to be honest, I would tell her the truth. I wouldn't want her to see it for herself, but I would tell her. That way she wouldn't be surprised and at least she'd hear it from me. I just respect her like that. Anywhoo, I was feeling amazing after my last post. I was even getting ready to go out Friday night and I made the mistake of calling my sister while I was getting ready. She killed my entire mood with her guilt speech until I couldn't even focus on having fun that night. I came home at one in the morning...and that's early for me, because I usually get home later than that. I was panicking and everything, because It was Friday night and ya'll know I don't have Internet access at home. I eventually called a friend of mine and told him I need some help. I sent him my account information and he unpublished all my kindles. I later went back and edited my paperback in hopes that it would go away too. Well I found out this morning that my paperback was still online and you could still open it up and preview the chapters. All it said was currently not for sale or something like that. That's when I thought, well if I can't get this down, then I might as well put the Kindles back up. I had a couple people telling me, "No, don't take them down yet! I can't get one until I get paid." I did it anyway. When I woke up this morning, I looked at my royalty records and something hit me. I said, "Hey, I'm losing money." So I had to put my books back on sale. I haven't gotten a steady job yet, because I'm waiting until I move to Baton Rouge. So far, writing is my income. That's why I put them back on sale and you should be able to see them on Amazon again within the next 48 hours...sorry for the inconvenience.

However, I did come up with a pretty good compromise. I will be continuing to write what I love...erotica, under Queen B. I don't know if I told you or not, but I was planning on doing a young adult fiction series after I finish with my erotica series. Well I'm just going to put my erotica on hold until I write the first book young adult fiction book. I'mma try to have it finished in two months. It's going to be a rush job, I know, but desperate times call for desperate measure. Anywhoo, it's just going to be a decoy to satisfy all those people who are so proud of me that they can't imagine me writing erotica. Instead of publishing it under Queen B, I'mma use my first name for those and I will let you guys know how to access them. That way the people who read my erotica can find my young adult fiction, but not vice versa. And if they do find it, so be it...they'll get over it, but nobody's going to mess with my love or my money. Just pray for me ya'll, because I am just one big, walking contradiction.

It's amazing how you grow up in the time you are waiting for a prayer to be answered. My idea for this book is just ten chapters and 250 pages. I am really pushing myself especially since I only average about ten to twelve pages per chapter, so I am really pushing myself. It's a good push though. I actually like trying this new genre. It's easy writing erotica and if you've ever read my book, you know I go hard and I don't bite my tongue. Now going from that to a clean teenage novel is challenging, but very interesting. I haven't read YA fiction in three years, but since I've been writing, I've noticed that it is a popular genre to write. I didn't know why then, but I understand it a lot now. Honestly it took me two days to write five pages. I usually could write a chapter a day when I'm not bothered, but not with a clean book. It pushes me to use better judgement and it pushes my abilities. Anybody can write erotica, but take all the explicit content out of what we write and make us fill it in with something clean is the challenge. It's even harder for me to create the perfect teenager that only says the occasional "hell" or "damn," especially when every to ten year old I know curses and acts way older than they should. Anyways, be expecting to hear about that one soon.

Until next time, tell me what you think.

Queen B.

My Book Is In A Library---6/1/2012---9:33 a.m.

Hey Readers,

Once again I overreacted. It's different with strangers than with family. Put me in front of anybody, tell them anything you want about me, and I could care less what they think or what they say. Put me in front of family and I guess I just don't want to be a disappointment. I guess anybody can relate to that. Anywhoo, my sister came over after she got off work Wednesday evening and gave me a copy of the paper. The was the very first time that I wasn't on the front page, but I was actually kind of happy about it. My article was on page nine and it really did me justice. The headline had my name on it and beside my name said "Moving Up The Ladder of Success." She started of by calling me a mover and shaker. Then she ended the article by saying I was destined for greatness. The entire article took up almost half the page. It was awesome and I really am proud of it. It's one thing to have people calling me and saying, "Hey, you're in the paper again. I loved the article now tell me how I can get to your book and check it out." It's another thing to actually see the article myself.

So I got another call yesterday morning from the local library. I only picked up because I thought it was my mother calling. Instead, it was her manager. My mother had showed her my article and she wanted to check out my book. She was looking on Amazon and she couldn't find it. I know why she couldn't find it. She and everybody else that knows me are typing in my real name, because they don't know I go by Queen B. Besides, I don't think my titles pop up when you type in Queen B or What it Took to Get Her. You actually have to type in Boss Bitch Chronicles to find them. Anyways, I told her how to get to it. I'mma be honest, I told her not to read the first two preview chapters, because the entire time I was thinking about the masturbation scene at the end of chapter 1. I called her back and she loved it. She said, "I don't discriminate. She was impressed and tickled." Then she told me she was going to buy a copy to finish reading it. I said, "Well, it gets worse in part 2." She responded by simply saying, "Don't say worse, say better or deeper or something else like that. I'm a big girl. I can handle it. Besides I've already went through all of this before." That's when she told me, "I'm going to buy a copy for the library too, because I know a few people who likes to read these books." I was speechless. You know, in a past post, I told you guys about the time I was in Wal-mart with my mother and we were looking at books. I put my arm around her and said, "I want to she my book on the shelves next to my favorite authors." Well, the library is a far cry from being in stores, but it is definitely a start. Having my book in my local library puts it in the system for all the rest of the Desoto Parish libraries. Now that's what's amazing. Even if my books don't make it in stores within the next few months, I am genuinely happy...for now.

Until next time, why don't you tell me what you think.

Queen B.

The Moment of Truth---5/30/2012---12:01 p.m.

Hello Readers,

I have so many mixed emotions right now. I am happy. I am scared as freak and part of me doesn't even know what to feel. My article hit today. I haven't seen it, but I imagine it hit front cover because I have already been getting responses. After all, it's not like I didn't know what I was getting myself into in the first place. My sister called my like ten minutes ago to look up my book. She works downtown at the courthouse, so of course, they get the papers first. I'm way down here in the country and I may not even see that paper until tomorrow. Anywhoo, back to the story. She called me from the courthouse. You know everybody in the office she works in is like family, so everybody was looking. I could hear them in the background. They was like come on give me the title some we can find you girl. I was like, oh no, there's a curse word in it, that's why I didn't put the series title in the paper. I know how much I brag about my book. I am so proud of my book to everybody except my family and their older friends. I mean my people are very religious and this is not the type of book I would want to show to my church family. Til this day, my mother is the only older person in my family who knows that I write. The only thing my mother is in the dark about is the cover. I never showed my mother the cover because I know she's going to try to find the book even though I told her never to read what I write. I consider myself the grey sheep of the family. I am not pure and white, but I am also not the total screw up that you'd expect from a black sheep. I told you guys before that I academically known in the community, but I never in a million years thought that one article could create such a buzz. I am proud of who I am and what I do, but I'll be honest, there is some doubt. I find myself struggling between who I am and what other people view me as. Writing erotica is sort of like breaking the chains between the two. I want to break out of what everybody expects of me, but I am kind of reluctant to see what may happen after those chains have broken. I'm excited to see what's next and I am relieved that everybody important to me knows now. A weight has been lifted, now I can do what matters most to me and that's write.

This is sooo ridiculous that I have to say this, but I honestly don't know how I want to release my next book. I am still adding on like I informed you in my last post, but I don't know when to stop. Most writers, if not all, get that feeling of when to end a book. I just haven't gotten that feeling yet. I don't know if part of what I am writing is going going to be the end of book 2 or the beginning of book 3. I won't know until I get everything in print and then I can see where I want to go from there.

Until next time, tell me what you think.

Queen B

Changes---5/25/2012---9:49 a.m.

Hey Readers,

I wanted to drop in and give you a heads up. There has been a few slight changes in my book. Yesterday I said I was finished and I was...or at least I thought I was. Last night I was telling a friend of mine that I didn't like my ending. Well, I like the actual material, but I wasn't satisfied with it being the actual ending. Anywhoo, we talked for hours and she helped me develop a more appropriate ending. I'm going to keep what I've written and just add on. Now, I haven't really decided how I'm going to this, but I'm looking into doing another Part 2. This time, however, I am not going to sell the Part 1 first like I did on What it Took to Get Her. It's all going to be together in one book in all the formats I sell it in. Now that I think about it, it's good that I didn't set a release date yet, because I'd have to push it back again. Anywhoo, I was just stopping in to let you know what's going on. I have to cut this post short because I have an online Calculus module to learn and a final to take before June. Yep, that's my lovely college welcome.

Until next time,

Queen B

My First Big Article!---5/18/2012---2:26 p.m.

Hey Readers!

I just landed the most awesome opportunity in my life! I am going to be featured in the Mansfield Enterprise. Well...I'm used to being in there. In fact I've been in almost every edition for the past month. The newspaper joked that the 2012 Valedictorians of this parish are sort of like local celebrities, because of how often we had been in the paper. Anywhoo, all that's for academic, so that's not my point. At graduation, I received a Sheriff's Scholarship, so me and the other Valedictorians of this parish had to go get our picture taken for the newspaper. That's when the editor from the Enterprise approached me about my last appearance in the Shreveport Times. She's been trying to get in contact with me since that paper came out, because she wanted to run a story about me for her paper. She talked about how she thought it was interesting that I am a published author. I was telling her that when I do interviews and articles in the paper, my counselor and I didn't really focus on me as an author. We focus on me as a future OB/Gyn, because I am well known in my community through all the things I have done academically. Erotica isn't a genre my community would expect me to write, so in the paper we just call it adult fiction. Anyway, I know it is crazy, but I tried to sway her away from my author status even though I know this is great publicity. The editor was like, oh it's great you want to be a doctor and you are excellent in academic, but I think the readers would love to hear more about your books and this other side of you. People say that if you want to be known, you have to start with your community first and work your way up. I tried to skip my community, but it seems like my community is following me. It's not a bad thing either, it's scary because this is my first article in the paper that's not based on my schoolwork and I don't know how people will take it yet. People are going to always be proud of me as long as I'm not selling my body on somebody's street corner. I thought long and hard last night. I made up my mind and I called the editor this morning and she told me what she wanted and I've sent her all the information she needs to develop an article. This is me, this is what I do, and this is who I am and I am not ashamed. If people don't like it, I'm not going to stop writing or change my genre. This is my first article and it was basically placed in my hand. Where else am I going to find that without paying for a spot? Nowhere, so I'm jumping at any chance I get. Now I am super excited and can't hardly contain myself. So, I can't wait for it to come out!

Peace,
Queen B!

Strike One---5/17/2012---1:29 p.m.

Hello Readers,

On my last post, I informed you that I was looking into guest blogging. Well I did look into it and I found a site that same day. They had a list of about five topics to choose from and I did. It had to be like 250-800 words. I also had to include a picture that pertained to the blog and a couple other things that I don't remember exactly. Anywhoo, I check my email about an hour ago only to find the following:

Hi Queen,

Thank you for your interest in guest posting on ***** ****. Unfortunately we are only accepting submissions from our current authors. Good luck on finding another outlet for your article!

Sincerely,

The Author Relations Coordinator

Now, I am in no way upset...maybe disappointed a little, but getting turned down comes with the territory. My issue is basically that I feel like I was misinformed, because the website was for anybody. Nowhere did it say, "Only for our current authors." Anyway, like I said, I'm not really upset, just a little disappointed. On the other hand, I am very intrigued about this entire process and I honestly can't wait to try it again even if I get shot down again. I am so intrigued that I can't wait to get more followers, so I can invite people to guest blog.

One thing that I did learn from all of this is that when guest blogging you need to try to stay within your own genre. That sounds easy right? Now understand this, I write adult fiction...well erotica defines what I write better. It's so easy to find an erotic book, but not as easy to find a blog written by an erotica author. When I search for erotic guest blog requests, I find blogs that have erotic stories for each post. If I do a submission like that it could be great by getting people to like my writing style and get my blog a lot of followers. It could also be bad because some readers may come to my blog expecting to find more stories only to find me promoting my books which they have to buy, so they leave and never return. Oh well, it never hurts to try.

Anywhoo, I am working on Chapters 16 and 17 of What it Takes to Keep Her. How I got to working on two chapters at once is a long, crazy story. I also realized that when I was in that crazy pen name phase, I have stuff under Queen B as well as still under Queen Breean and Breean. Forgive me for that craziness. As of right now, I’m officially Queen B, but for those first two novellas, you may buy an Ebook with Breean on it, but it’s all the same. I’ll try to upload new covers, but until then it’s going to stay. Well readers, that's all for now.

Until next time...

Queen B.

Nothing but Great News!---5/7/2012---3:07 p.m.

What's up readers!

I am swamped, because, first of all, I only had like four hours of sleep. I had to wait until my mother finished cooking so I could wash dishes, so I didn't fall asleep until around two this morning. Then, I had to wake right back up at eight to get ready for graduation practice, but it's all gravy. Today was the first day I woke up and realized I didn't have school...well, I realized that yesterday night, because my sisters' children were turning in early. I even made the mistake of asking my oldest sister could I take her twelve year old daughter with me tomorrow morning, because a couple friends and I are getting our hair and nails done before graduation and I know my niece would love that since it would be her first time. Well, that's when she told me no because she had school and if we went on a weekend sometimes, then she could go. Honestly when my girls and I go out on the weekends, the last thing I want to think about is babysitting my twelve year old niece. If she wants me to bring her back something, that's no problem. So those were a couple of eye openers for me. Graduation is tomorrow and I can't wait. I bought me a new outfit, getting my hair and nails done, and then some friends and I are going on a triple date after. The only thing that would mess me up is bursting into tears in the middle of my Valedictorian address. I want to wait at least until I'm back seated before crying, but I am putting some tissue in my bra just in case.

So do you guys remember the computer my teacher was supposed to give me? Well, I got it today after graduation practice. I took it home and I couldn't get it to stay on. It starts up, but when you set it down, it shuts off completely. After trying it again, it doesn't come on at all anymore. I might attempt to look at it some more when I get home, but I really don't care at this point. Thankfully, I got my own computer a few days ago. I was in Wal-Mart with my mom the other day and she was looking at tvs. By the way, I don't know if I told you of not, but my mom's 42-inch stopped working one night it was storming. We thought lightening had struck it, but the outlet was still working. Strange, but turns out it's an internal problem and we're going to have to get it serviced. I have no idea where to get the thing serviced at, so my mother told me to buy another tv. I mean afterall, I'm going to have to get one anyway since I need one for my dorm. I was going to get a 32-inch even though my dorm is supper small, but my laptop screen looks bigger than a damn 19-inch. I hate 19-inches with a passion. So, the 32-inch that I was going to buy was like 300 and something dollars, plus tax it would be like 400 and something. That's when I got to that point where I had to make an educated decision. I was like, there's one Samsung laptop left and it's $478. Plus if I buy the thing tonight, it'll be paid off and I wouldn't have to worry about any monthly payments. I need a laptop not only to write, but for school in the fall. That 32-inch is not going to help me pass a class, so if I paid 400 and something for a flat screen I might as well come out of a few more dollars to get a laptop. I must say, that bitch is sexy. You have to excuse me because I don't refer to cars and electronics and cute or pretty, they are my biggest addiction (right under shoes) so I call them sexy. The picture quality on this thing is amazing, it shows just like the Samsung tv. My aunt has a Samsung LCD 50-inch and that's sexy too. The picture looks like real life, or sort of like the soap operas look. Anyways, like I was saying, I have a laptop now, even though I still don't have Internet, but I'll be moving out in a couple months so it really doesn't matter.

Anywhoo, I am looking for more ways to reach the public and get my name out. While doing some research, one thing stood out to me and that was guest blogging. Call me slow, but up until two weeks ago, I had never heard of this. Now that I know about it, I would be crazy not to try this, so that's going to be my goal for the next few weeks. All I have to do is find someone who will let me write on their blog. Sounds easy enough right...not. Hopefully, this will work out for the better and I will be letting you know what happens.

Until next time...
Queen B!

New Look---5/4/2012---12:14 p.m.

Hello Readers,

 First of all, for those of you who was looking at my blog a few minutes ago, I apologize for its crazy appearance. I got tired of starring at all that pink and decided to switch up my background a little bit. I know you were looking because I notice my page views going up, but it's done now and I love the black wayyyyy better than that bright pink. Anywhoo, when you browse around my blog you are going to notice some new features and gadgets, so please feel free to use them. One feature, in particular, that I hoped you noticed is that I have added an extra page to my blog. It will, hopefully, be the first of many extra pages to come. In the top, left hand corner there is a tab that is titled Books. It's pretty self-explanatory what you'll find when you click that tab, but I'mma tell you anyways. It features the book that I have completed, where you can pick up your very own copy, and the price. Now, drum roll please...I also have a works in progress heading in there and it not only tells the book's name, it also shows the cover of my book. With the cover photos, there are also back cover summaries. If you read my blog regularly, you've probably already read the description, but if for some reason, you missed those posts, you can check it out there. I didn't put my email address on there, because by now you all should know that you can reach me at qbreean@yahoo.com and yes I do respond to each and every email that I get. The email is no secret and I didn't create it for nothing, so contact me for whatever and feel free to pass it on to a friend.

Umm, let's see...oh yeah, now I know what I was going to say. I finally uploaded all my epubs and I think I've even fixed a few errors in the first one. Can you believe I didn't procrastinate this time? Anyways, I uploaded them yesterday. It usually takes about two to three days for review and after that, you should be able to buy it. Like I said, Part 2 is out there on a different level, so, again, please email me at qbreean@yahoo.com with all your feedback whether it be praises or criticism. I say email me, because the comment box on this blog is for your response to each blog post. On the other hand, I like to talk and I'm very opinionated, so don't be surprised if I copy and paste your message in one of my posts and discuss it. I don't reveal any names, just ideas, comments, and my honest opinions.

As for as my new book, I'm going to be honest with ya'll, I don't have an expected release date. In one of my last posts, I told you guys that I was shooting for Christmas...I think that's what I said. Well, I told you guys that when I was overwhelmed in research papers and big college exams. Some way, I found some extra time on my hands and I am up to Chapter 16 right now. Bad news is that the little net book that the school let me check out has to be return before I graduate, so that will be Monday. That means I can't write as much, when I want. Good news is my math teacher is giving me his old laptop, but he said it was like one of the first ones that was made and on top of that it was filled with viruses. Thankfully, his daughter completely wiped it clean, but that also means that all the downloaded programs like Microsoft, was wiped away with the viruses. I don't know how that's going to work. Then even if the computer does work properly, I may be gone for nine weeks for training, which means I have to postpone writing the last few chapters. With all that being said, I could be done way sooner than Christmas or way later...but hopefully sooner.

Just so you know, my book about the quickies with a spin, is still going to happen...eventually. The Boss Bitch Chronicles have really overwhelmed me. I told you guys before that I daydream a lot, well I already have three books in my head for this series and when I get them out, then I can really start on something new.

One last thing before I close, I am working on another huge project. It is so huge that I it is going slower than I hoped, but that's what happens when you have to rely on other people to get your work done. This could be a major movement or an epic failure if only I can get everybody to cooperate. I was just giving you a heads up even though I know you probably won't be hearing about this until about next year.

Until next time...

Queen B!

Moving On---5/03/2012---3:42 p.m.

Hello Readers,

This post is going to be very brief, because I am a little sad on right now. I literally just finished my last day at school. I could go tomorrow, but I'm done with all my work so I have nothing to do there and some of my classmates are skipping school and going out for the last time together. Of course, I could not past down that oppurtunity especially since that's not going to be counted against us. Anywhoo, I was amped all day and everything just hit me at the very last minute. My bestie and I were playing around with this boy in our class that we hang with a lot and we hugged. Well even though this group hug and fake crying was for show, it hit me so hard right then and there. I really am going to miss them clowns, because we have a lot of great memories together that I guess I wasn't so ready to let go of just yet. I've finally written my Valedictorian address, but I don't have a clue how I'm going to do this speech without crying on the mic. I've already told my class that I'mma act real stuck up on stage because I don't want them to say something and make me cry, but anytime after that, I'm all ears. As far as my book, I don't really have anything to say right now because my mind is kind of blown at this moment. I just needed to get that off of my chest, however I am going to try to upload all of my epubs when I log off. I know I've been promising them for months, but they will be up within the next couple of days so look for them on Amazon.

Until next time,

Queen B!

Cover---4/27/2012---5:15pm

Hey Readers,

I am pleased to inform you that I have successfully created the cover for my second book. It took me a while to decide what direction I wanted to go. You know, do I want to do something different or do I want to keep my flames. Personally, I believe the flames match my fiery personality and it matches the personalities of my main characters, so I kept the flames. Hope you like it, if you don't too bad because the flames are staying around for this series of books. (Of course I have something different planned for the rest of the books in my head).

Graduation is approaching quickly and I only have a week left in school. All that work I was complaining about on one of my last post is almost finished, thank God! However, I still have a lot of papers to write so my time and energy is very limited. I used to look at my favorite authors and say, "Why the hell does it take you year or more to write one fucking book?!" Well, at that point, I didn't realize that authors have lives outside of writing. So if things keep going at the pace they are now, this book won't be released until Christmas. I will let you see the cover eventually. Hell I haven't even finished creating the epub for What it Took to Get Her Part 2 because I know a lot of people bought copies of part one and I'm not going to make you pay for both parts if you already have the first one.

By the way, I don't remember if I told you or not, but the second book in the Boss Bitch Chronicles is What it Takes to Keep Her. The story, of course, still revolves around Chelsea Rodriguez, Khloe Kai, and all the people that cross their paths. Well since I'm on the subject, I might as well attempt to give you a quick summary of what's going on with these two girls (I haven't pre-written anything so I'mma have to go off the dome lol).

When I last left off, Chelsea Jones had just become Chelsea Rodriguez and Khloe Shelton had just become Khloe Kai. Both of them where still just baby boss bitches. Now they are fresh out of college and in a confused stage where they don't want to accept their boss bitch status, or rather they can't accept it yet because of a few curve balls life has thrown their way that causes them to put business on hold in order to take care of home.

Chelsea and her husband, Rashad have been the ideal couple since high school. Since day one, everybody watched their love blossom and wished they could have at least a portion of what they have. Just when Chelsea thought things couldn't get any more perfect for, tragedy struck and caused her to question every aspect of their relationship. She does some things she's not proud of and brings them to the brink of divorce.

She is the first one in her family to graduate college, she has fifty girls under her command, and she owns a chain of stores and a chain of condo complexes. Khloe brings in millions every month, she married with kids, and she thinks she is living large. There's only one problem: she still hasn't been home to mama. After graduation, she finally decides to return home and finds herself in a shocking situation.

Will these girls learn to juggle their business and private lives and move on? Or will these boss bitches in the making lose control to the equally powerful men in their lives?

Okay now that if a rough draft of the back cover summary. That is what some of the book is about, just remember the summary is subject to change and I may put a completely different one on the back cover on the book depending on how I feel that day.

Anywhoo, I'm in the middle of Chapter 13 so let me go finish that and I hit ya'll later.

Until next time...

Queen B.

40,000 words! ---4/20/2012---4:33 pm

Hello Readers,

Let me tell you how I write. I make a word document for each chapter that I write and when finished, I print them out to be proofread (someone once told me what looks one way on the computer, looks another way in print and that is so true). After I may the corrections to a chapter, I put all the revised chapters in another document together. In my last book, I must have complained my ass off when people told me that I didn't have a novel because I only had like 38, 000 words (not including the second part). Well of the eleven chapters that I've written so far, nine are officially together and to my surprise, my words count is already a couple  thousand over 40,000 words and from the looks of everything going on inside my head, this book is going to be longer than the first two parts. That's right folks, no part one and part two, just one story.

You see things changed for me when I stopped focusing on the quantity of my work and started to focus on the quality of my work. In my last book, I would have never made it to 40,000 words since that was all I was focusing on. Just having a printed out copy of my book was enough for me (which by the way is awesome since I have fixed all the formatting errors inside and it actually looks like a real book and I am proud of it now)! Anywhoo, after seeing my new copy, I was just eager to write down everything else and finish this story. I don't plan on taking a break until book three. I am not trying to rush publishing, but ya'll got to understand, I really do daydream a lot. Don't get me wrong, I am always busy, but I always find time on my hands to daydream...or in my case, zone out. (Not to mention, a friend of mines love my work and she keeps begging for more chapters.) I have been daydreaming this stuff since I was twelve, I didn't officially just think about writing books until my freshman year in high school, so I got a lot of story built up and once I began putting it out, I can't help but keep going. I daydream in bed, in class, numerous times a day, and my personal favorite is when I'm listening to my mp3 in a car or on a bus. Well...I've been trying to stop daydreaming when in vehicles because I've been doing it for years now and I've began to associate daydreaming with any vehicle. Now that I am driving, I don't really need to focus anywhere else. My eyes and mind should be on the road one hundred percent of the time, so I'm working on that one.                                

Well readers, that's all for today. I need to start writing chapter 12, so until next time...

Queen B.

The Pressure Is On--7:06 pm--4/17/2012

Hey Readers,

I am stressed out! Graduation is fast approaching and it seems like I have loads of work...well it doesn't seem like, I actually do. I don't know if I have told ya'll before but I have been taken dual enrolled classes since my junior year in high school, which means I will start college in the fall with eighteen credit hours. I've worked my ass off in high school so I will have a really easy first year. Sure it all sounds great, but actually getting there is the hard part. Now the work is easy, it's just the workload versus my schedule. My class gets out of school on May 4th. I graduate on May 8th. Now I have no high school classes, I just act as a Teacher’s Aid/ Peer Tutor. However, I am still enrolled in two college courses: my second freshman English and American History, which means I have to go by the college's schedule instead of my high school schedule. For some reason my professors seemed to have the bright idea of posting all the work we haven't had a chance to cover this year. In English, I have five assignments, two of which are long (6-8 page) research papers and one of those is going to be on a book that I have to search for a buy from somewhere. Must I remind you that Mansfield has no bookstores and Wal-Mart certainly doesn't have the book I need. The only thing that Pelican has is a corner gas station. I don't know anything about Many or Pleasant Hill or Zwolle because I don't have a reason to go that way. On top of all of that, I have three chapter of history to do plus quizzes on each of those chapters, then I have Exam 3 which is on all of the chapters in that unit, and then I have my final exam over all the chapters we have covered this year. Now all that has to be done by May 4th, which is no problem for me because I actually like this history class. I have fifteen days left of school to finish all the work on my online courses. You do remember me telling you that I don't have internet at home or my own computer? I just needed to vent for a minute while I stare depressingly at the stack of printouts that I have to carry home everyday just so I can stay ahead.

I know I'm complaining, but I can do that now that I am finally getting some things done around here. Thank God I just finished my APA research paper. Now I just need to get my hands on a copy of The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka so I can do my other research paper, which I am so glad is in MLA format...yes! I only have two more chapters of history to go and I will be finish. I may have loose thoughts, but I do have time management skills when I need them. My only issue is finding a way to complete my English exam on May 7th, which is the day before graduation, which also means I will be out of school with no internet access. Well folks looks like I'm going to have to go to school one extra day.

Anywhoo, all this ish above will fall into play in due time. I'm not worried about it, but I am really stressed out, because I am now realizing my possible college workload. It was a huge "WELCOME TO COLLEGE," reality check for me. I know you guys don't know this but, this was supposed to be my break from writing. I actually finished up to chapter 10 and stopped (on purpose, not because I was stuck). A while ago my mama had gotten me a book by Kiki Swanson and some other girl who I know, but I can't remember how to spell it right now. Her first name begins with a D and her last name is Diamond. Anywhoo, to me, reading someone else's work is like eating someone else’s cooking. I love cooking and baking, but now my mother loves it so much that I am the main cook in the family so I love it when I get to eat my mother's or my sister's cooking. Well, that's what reading does for me. I can sit back and relax and enjoy someone else's work for a change. Well, so much for that dream. I can't read that book, because I am doing extra school work and get this I actually started writing the first page of chapter 11. I never thought I'd see the day when doing more writing is my break and it actually feels great. I just hate having my story in my head and not having the time to actually write it down. I daydream a lot so, I don't really forget what I'm going to write next, I just keep "re-living" it until I get it out and then I can move on to the next part. As a matter of fact, since I worked so hard and finished my APA paper, I think I'm going to treat myself and work on chapter 11 for the rest of the night (after I finish this entry of course).

So Saturday, I experienced being a bridesmaid for the first time in my life. The girl I referred to in my last blog that was so close to me that I don't consider her a friend anymore, she's my sister. Well she went all the way on April 14, 2012 at about 3:30 pm. Don't worry, she is not in her teens, I hang out with older people. Anywhoo, it was just me, her, her husband, and his best man up there. I was so honored to be the only one standing behind her, but that's another story. I never thought I'd be in a wedding at this young, but it opened my eyes up even more about life and not only how fast my friends and I are growing up, but how fast our generation is growing up (or wanting to grow up as the adults like to say). I don't think it's us, I think it's the time and the atmosphere that my friends and I are growing up in. For example, (and I'm talking to strictly the ones who have read my book) I have a wild imagination with my plots and characters, but a lot of the stuff in my books are based of true instances and 80%-90% of my characters are based off of the people that I know. So, my advice to the adults out there, don't blame the children for the way they act or for "growing up too fast," blame the times we live in and blame the people you let them around. They didn't get it on their own, but it had to come from somewhere...think about it.

Until next time readers...

Queen B.

Mood Swings---4/2/2012---3:28 pm

Hello Readers,

I wanted to change things up a bit today. Recently I fell into a great depression. I didn't want to eat, didn't want to talk, and I really didn't want to be. Now let me back up here and start from the beginning. I have an attitude out of this world. I got it from my mother's side and from my sperm donor's side, so as you can see I got a double dose of boiling blood. Anywhoo, it's out of this world and that's all I can say, but ask anyone close to me and they can tell you more than I can. Now, I have five best friends...and yes I do mean best friends. I had more but when push came to shove I realized that these girls are my real best friends and the other chicks were just leaves. These chicks held me down through everything and vice versa. We have been through it all together, make-ups, breakups, fights, arguments, arrests, community service, probation, pregnancy scares, miscarriages, pregnancies, and births. The one thing about my girls is that their attitude and tempers are just like mine. The only difference is that I have self-control and most of the time they don't. Well, one day me and one of my friends got into a heated argument. I had just started my cycle and her being the feistiest one, we always clash when I'm on my cycle, and it never fails. She's the type of person who goes off on you and dares you to pop off at her. It takes a lot to tick me off, because I don't let people get to me, but when I'm ticked off, I don't think before speaking and I don't remember half the things I said. Well, I started arguing back and our driver pulled over and separated us. My other bestie was on the bus with us and she is my absolute best friend, who by the way didn't do anything to me or have anything to do with our argument. Well, lately I was feeling pushed out. They was getting closer and leaving me behind. I don't know, but the next day I didn't want to talk to neither one of them. That evening, my friend came and apologizing for cursing me out (which shocked the hell out of me because this chick never apologies) and for some reason I still didn't want to talk to either one of them.

It's crazy how my mind is sometimes. I'd cry myself through the day. I get angry and then I cry myself to sleep. I wake up happy and on top of the world, then when I get to school a grey cloud engulfs me. I'd literally, got off the bus, put my head down in the cafeteria and ignore them until it was time for class (because after all we were still sitting together), then I'll zone out in class and people constantly asked what's wrong and every time they touched me I cried. I didn't even eat lunch anymore; I dip out and go sit alone on one of the picnic tables that are in the woods. When lunch was over, I was sad again and then I'd get around one of the girls in my class and we'd talk and laugh and I'd be happy again. Then, I'd cry myself through the bus ride home, just to start everything all over again. I'm the type of person who likes to act like the grown up in my group. I like to console my girls and keep them together, but who do I go to? When I was young I used to have stomach problems and I'd cry about everything and eventually my mother got tired of me. She wouldn't say it completely, but there would be hints. She'll slip and say something here or she'll act differently and don't respond as quickly, so I started suffering alone. I said well damn if my own mother gets tired of me than I know everybody else will too. I made a vow to myself not to cry. Even though I am female, I'd always say be a man emotionally. Act like a lady, look like a lady, but be hard and cold as ice on the inside. Well, I had finally had enough and every little thing that had ever gone wrong in my life just fell on my shoulders. In my past I had walked in on my sister wrestling a knife from my mother's hand. I mean no five or six year old should have to ever. Then, a few years later, my sister had to get her stomach pumped because she swallowed a bottle of pills. A couple years ago, I found myself in a dark room contemplating, fast and painless or slow and very painful. I chose slow and very painful because I felt that I should punish myself for all the bad that I had done or rather thought I had done to everybody in the world. My thing was going to be chemicals, because I knew if I swallowed enough cleaning supplies and other household chemicals, I would vomit and have stomach aches until eventually....yeah you know. I was going to take out my mother's cleaning supplies; she had spic and span, pine sol, Clorox, and ammonia. As soon as I picked up that bottle of Spic and Span, she called me into the kitchen to do something for her.  Sometime after that I wrote my Suicide Letter before my second attempt and as you can see that didn't work either. At school, I felt I didn't belong because I was walking around alone.  I felt nobody loved me. I started wondering how I was going to pay for college with my current financial status. Enlist or not to enlist. Then I started going through some things about my sperm donor. He raised three of the five children that I know about. Why not me? What was wrong with me? Why didn't he want me? Why doesn't he care? You know same-o-same-o. Anywhoo, like I was saying, I had had enough and my mind was slowly slipping back into my past mindset. This time, however, I had made up in my soul that I would never sink that low again. I have dreams in life that I would like to see come true. I want to see myself in a better living situation. I want to be able to take care of my mother one day. I want to be able to experience having my own family. Hell, I just want to make it to college. Hell, I want to experience the good side of life because I've been living through the struggle since day one. You know there are just some things a seventeen year old shouldn't have to worry about just yet or ever for that fact. It's not the little questions either like, where is my next meal going to come from? My questions are: How am I going to survive period? How do I, Valedictorian, make it seem that I have it all together? How do I smile through the pain and realities that I face at home? How do I take care of me, so I don't have to burden my mother so maybe one day she doesn't have to live paycheck to paycheck? Anywhoo, I called another one of my besties. Me and her are so close that I don't consider her my friend anymore, she's my sister. She is three years older than me and I knew she didn't mind taking a few minutes away from her fiancé to talk some sense into my head. Her diagnosis was that I was bipolar and if I was still sexually active, she'd say I was pregnant. Then after she had made fun of me and got me back laughing, she suggested I talk to my bestie to see if our friendship was only temporary. I said fuck her and fuck talking because if she wanted to talk, she knows my number and she sees me walking around campus alone every damn day.

Then when I mixed all of this together, school seemed unimportant. I said I got to make it happen for me. Well, the next week, I didn't return to school until Wednesday because I had an FBLA conference to attend in Lafayette. I think that's what I needed. I needed to get away... (Buy a couple pair of shoes) and just relax with a real cool group of students who aren't in my regular circle of friends. Before I had left, I stumbled across an old letter that my bestie had written me and it made me cry. The worst part about it was I had no way to reach her until Wednesday, but it was for the best. It was on that trip that I realized the root of all my problems...senioritis. I thought my friends were isolating themselves from me, but I was isolating myself from my friends and everybody else in school. I had to swallow my pride and admit that I was wrong and apologize (which is something I never do). I thought I was outgrowing my friends, but I was wrong. I knew these chicks were crazy when I picked them up, but that didn't change anything. I am the glue and just like it can hold us together, it can rip us apart too. Wednesday morning, I told the friend that I'm always arguing with that I was sorry for acting like a bitch for the past two weeks and she said, "So, I've been acting like a bitch too. Tell me something new." Then, we started catching up like we had never stopped talking. When my bestie came to school later that morning I said, "I'm sorry for treating you like a bitch, because you never did anything to me." Then she said, "It's okay, she was just giving me my space." You see my thing is, I am constantly checking on people and I expect them to run to me and do the same, but sometimes things just don't work like that. Actually, everybody was constantly checking on me because they never see me down like that and I had them worried. It's just that the two people, I wanted to come running, didn't. They actually were the only people who gave me what I asked for and that was space...two weeks of it to be exact. So my advice to everyone reading this is to be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it and if you ask for it make sure you really want it.

Until next time...
Queen B

Problems, Problems, and More Problems--3/3/2012--4:11

Okay, I don't know if you have caught on or not, but the dates on my blog and the actually post dates are different. That's because you all know that I don't have a computer or Internet at home. However, I finally checked out a netbook from school until I graduate. I can now only get on the Internet in hot spots, which does not include the area around my house. On the upside, at least it does have the basic WordPad so I can write my second post and write blog posts, save them, and post them online later. Anywhoo, I was up this morning and found an old blog post that I was suppose to put up before Ain't Karma's A Bitch? So here it is...

Hello Readers,

Today I received the surprise of a lifetime...the proof of my book came in the mail three days early. I wasn't expecting to get it until at least the sixth, but I'll take it. I cannot describe the feeling I had when I saw my grandfather walk through the front door carrying that box, and it was at that moment that I knew what it was before he even placed it in my hand.

Then, I finally opened the box and saw the spine. I was like, "Oh my God!" Then, I hurried and closed the box back. I was so excited I literally had to coach and prepare myself before I pulled the book out of the box. I took a deep breath and removed my creation from its package. My initial reaction was, "What the heck? It was supposed to be hardback with a dust jacket." Then, I remembered I changed it to paperback before I submitted it for review.

After I got over that whole fiasco, now it was the moment of truth. It was time to look for material mistakes. Good news is, it looked exactly like it did on the computer. Bad news is, I still felled to correct a couple minor details. The first thing I forgot to do is indent my paragraphs. Now each chapter looks like one long paragraph. In a way, its fine with me, but that's only because I know where each paragraph begins and ends. Honestly, I pondered leaving it, but I just can't ignore a problem that obvious. The second thing is the font. I had so much problem with the different fonts before that when I removed all the formatting to start over, i didn't change my fonts again. I used the most basic fonts that I could find. If I'm not mistaken, I had my book in Courier New and when one of my character texted, I used Times New Roman for the text messages. Well, the words are light and the text messages are darker then the rest of the book (and I didn't put it in bold either). Don't get me wrong, the book doesn't look bad at all. It's the fact that it looks like I typed it on a typewriter.

As far as other errors like unwanted spacing and ecetera, I haven't read the book over yet to check for those types of errors.

In other news, I received another email from Smashwords saying that they have found a silver lining in the PayPal requirements. As long as bestiality, incest, and rape aren't the main theme of the book, you can publish it. In other words, if the main topic of your book is about...uh I don't know...the struggles of two teenage girls who are transitioning to adulthood and you write a few scenes of rape and underage sexual content then, its okay, its like life. Things like that happen, but that doesn't mean its your life's story. Anywhoo, my contract will be up with KDP on the eighth of this month, so after I get things situated on my end, you will be seeing my work back on smashwords as well as KDP (amazon) and lulu.

You know, since I am on the subject of PayPal and their regulations, I might as well tell you what I think of this little policy. Putting it nicely, it sucks major big balls. Like I said in one of my previous blogs, this regulation is like music producer trying to control what their artists write. This is absurd. In email I received from Smashwords, it says their purpose is to help indie writers whether or not they read the books themselves. What are people going to do next...take away freedom of speech perhaps? The day I start writing what people tell me to write, is the day I loose my hands and someone else has to write for me.

I am only one person and I can only do so much. I need you to help raise the awareness about PayPal's attempt to control what we write. I'm against bestiality, but I bet there are a select group of people out there who gets off at the thought of that. Who am I to criticize the author who entertains these thoughts? You may like that yourself or you may be trying to reach a certain audience, but by all means make your paper boo boo. Erotica is all about sex and there is no way in getting around that fact, but believe it or not, erotica is way more than written porn with a long story line. Erotica is also about exploring that side of yourself. Erotica is about sparking your imagination for your adventurous side. If you limit the imaginations of indie erotic authors then you might as well call it the end of real erotica.

So, spread the word, blog about it, and help keep the limitations off the imaginations of indie erotic authors.

Until next time,

Queen B... and the B is not for Breean!

Ain't Karma a Bitch?!---03/15/2012---5:48 p.m.

Hey Readers,

My mother likes to bug me on the weekends and I'm fine with helping to do anything she asks until she does it back to back. I would rather she give me a long list things to do instead of telling me to do one thing, waiting until I finish, and then telling me to do something else and she'll do this for the entire weekend. I'm the type of person that once my mind is set on something, that's what I'm going to do unless I change my own mind. When I get angry, I don't go off, I shut down and isolate myself. Well, after washing the dishes late last Saturday night I had the bright idea to load the jugs of water in the car that night, so my mother won't wake me up early the next morning to do it. I literally said, "If I do everything tonight, my mother won't have nothing to bug me about in the morning." So, like I was saying, after I got out the tub, I washed the dishes, filled the water jugs, and loaded them in the trunk of the car. Well, it was raining and I just went outside in some slippers and my older sister's nightgown.

Now, I'm sitting here with a cold. My throat is sore. I'm coughing and sneezing. I'm congested. My head hurts, and my nose is stopped up so badly that I have trouble breathing. I have never had a stopped up nose like this. My nose is not running, it's like it is swollen on the inside and breathing out of my mouth does not help. I woke up constantly in the night trying to catch my breath. Believe me guys, I wish I was over-exaggerating, but I haven't had any sleep in almost two days. I am miserable...ain't karma a bitch?

I have three girls reading my material at school, two of those girls have been with me every step and they are reading my second book as I write it. The other girl is new, so she is just reading my first book. I used them as my own personal motivation. They keep me writing, because they want to know what happens next. It usually takes me a day or two to write a chapter, because I daydream constantly and I know how the story is going to go, so it doesn't take me long to type it. I told one of the girls yesterday at our awards banquet that I would have Chapter 5 done for her today when I get to school. Well I got home from our banquet last night at seven and I only wrote three pages before getting stuck. I have never gotten stuck writing this book, because I've been picturing it in my head for so long that I know the whole story. I am so tired that I can't think while writing and I can't even picture it straight in my head. I was blessed enough to be able to check out a netbook from school until I graduate, but it sucks that I can't do anything except look at the computer screen and not think of anything.

Well in other news, you can now officially buy What it Took to Get Her in paperback for just $15. It's a great book, but like I said before, the second half is out there so just consider yourself warned. Make sure you order your copy at http://www.amazon.com/Boss-Bitch-Chronicles-What-Volume/dp/1466441046/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1331959050&sr=8-2

I will have the entire book and the second half available in an ebook. Anywhoo, I believe that's all for right now, so until next time!

Queen B

Heads Up---2/25/2012---2:40 pm

Good Day Readers!!!

First of all, my book has been accepted on Createspace. Right now I’m just waiting for my copy to arrive at my doorstep in print, so I am really excited about that. However, I'mma have to push my release date back some. I hope it looks perfect inside and out, but what looks one way on the computer may not look the same in print, so I won’t know until I crack the sucker open.

Secondly, PayPal has reevaluated their terms for erotica, resulting in Smashwords sending emails out to all their erotic authors. You are free to publish erotica as long as the context doesn't have any bestiality, incest, rape, or underage sexual content. They even consider it incest for a step parent to have a sexual relationship with a consenting adult step-child, which by the way I don’t get because technically they aren’t blood related. I have seen people get married and their children marry each other even though they are step brother and sister. Personally, I don’t see what’s the problem when every black person (in my part of the country) has that one relative who has had a child with a 1^st, 2^nd, or 3^rd cousin and yes, that happened more than once in my family which is why my family tree looks more like a family ring, because I’m related on both sides. But that’s another story, anywhoo, I am no longer published under Smashwords since I switched to KDP, but I did plan on going back to them in March. This leads me to my third notice...

Just a heads up for the second part of What it Took to Get Her, some parts were just unethical and sad. I pushed the boundaries for what may have been acceptable, but I don't care. I feel like I’m bringing awareness to the more corruptible side of the world and if you don't like this part, I suggest you quit reading my work now, because it not gone get any better...well maybe just a tad bit better, but all my ideas are still going to push the ethical boundaries. On the other hand, I'll never write about bestiality, that's just about the only thing that I couldn't not write...I mean that's just nasty no matter who's the dominate...um...species. But, as I was saying everybody whose read my past blog or even bought my epub, knows that Part 1 was about teenagers (mainly Chelsea and Rashad) having sex and teenage pregnancy. Well, Part 2 is about a young freshman in college (Khloe). She is out on her own for the first time and like most college students she experiments with a little drinking and a couple other females. She even becomes a phone sex operator and a madam sex trafficker, which is basically enslaving little children to put out on the streets. The girls she kidnaps are between the ages of 10-15. It’s wrong, it’s unethical, and it’s illegal, but hey, it happens. So, if you aren't completely partial to things like that, just roll with me and see where the story goes.

Until next time readers!

Queen B...and the B is not for Breean...deuces!

Learn From My Mistakes-2/23/2012 8:20 pm

Mistakes, mistakes! Where can I start? Some people say a hard head makes a soft bottom. Others say mistakes are our greatest teachers. Well, in a way both are true. I finally finished formatting What it Took to Get Her. It's not on sale yet, it's being reviewed and I'm waiting to hear from Createspace. Anywhoo, it wouldn't have taken me nearly as long to do if I had just read...well comprehended because I had read the step-by-step instructions many times. It wasn't until today that it all clicked. Well, here is my advice from one rookie to another and hopefully it won't take you three years to get your stuff together (six if you count the years it took for me to finish the manuscript).

1.       First of all, finish your manuscript! I don't know how to stress this enough. You can't do anything without a finished manuscript. Take me for example, if you have been reading my posts since the beginning, what was my biggest problem? And if you haven't read them, go read them. I must've stressed myself out so bad about finishing my manuscript. I would do my research and then get ahead of myself. I found myself negotiating with editors and illustrators, but when push came to shove, I couldn't do anything until I finish my manuscript.

2.       Make backup copies of every version of your manuscript that you make. You are bound to mess up during the formatting process. If you don't believe me, just as soon as you think it won't happen to you, you gone delete or mess up something that you're going to have to re-type later. All this can be avoided just by making copies before you start formatting.

3.       Be careful about using pre-formatted templates. Using one of these is the reason that I originally had spaces and blank pages in my manuscript. For some reason, my paragraphs seemed to want to stick together leaving gaps all over the place. I ended up starting fresh and just formatting my document by hand. This is very easy by the way...that is if you don’t have problems following directions.

4.       Get a laptop. My main problem was not having a computer, so on top of not having half of my book written, I only had about one third of it written. On top of all of that, my right hand was swollen twice its size trying to write it out on pen and paper. I have just started on my second book because I'm trying to do this one completely on computer, which is something I still don't have at home.

5.       Rule to remember you have to have at least 40, 000 words to have a novel. Originally, I was going to publish my book in two parts. I split them up, because I thought it would be too much together. Wrong, after all the formatting it wasn't anything. So, I just published the first part as an epub and worked on the second half. However, if you didn't originally have idea for a second part like me, just be happy with your short story or novella. Then, work on stepping your weight game up next book.

6.       Don't rush. Some of you may be saying, well look at the pot calling the kettle black. Oh well, the first step is always admitting your problems. Anywhoo, I have learned. Despite the urge to publish learn to be patient. It'll all be worth it in the end.

7.       Grow some balls. Don't be a bitch, I don't know how else to put it. People gone talk regardless. You gone get good and bad criticism. Embrace it. It may be hard, but some of that harsh criticism is true. Sometimes you just need to be truthful to yourself and reevaluate, ya feel me? On the other hand, some of that harsh criticism is just bull. It’s up to you to decipher between the two. Also, grow some balls and don't be afraid to be you...even if that means going by a pen name. You hear musicians say all the time that they didn't stay with a record company, because they couldn't do the music they want to do. Don't write what you think others want to hear. Write what you want and the people who don't like it does not have to read your stuff and if they still talking down, they must like something because they keep reading. If they didn't read, they wouldn't have anything to criticize you on. Take risks. I took a huge risk by putting half of my book out through epub, but I learned from it.

8.       Be patient. It's hard I know, but without it, you will not be a successful self-publisher, indie publisher, or whatever you refer to yourself. Read and comprehend over and over. I can't tell you how many times I read the line that said don't use enter when adjusting your chapter pages. Use the page break, because your formatting can get out of place when you convert your manuscript. Since January I have been using enter and I'd review my book and always be bummed about how crappy it is. The chapters were out of place and I had spaces and blank pages everywhere. Piece of crap! I re-uploaded my file at least twenty times and I got to the point where I said forget this, I'm about to submit. Then, you have to think well first impressions are everything. Heck, forget first impressions, how would I feel when I finally get a copy of that book? Would I really be proud of to call this mine? No. So, I took like two weeks off and when I came back, it was like I was reading a different set of instructions. It only took me about thirty minutes to format the thing. It was super easy and I could've punched myself because I've been making such a big deal out of it.

9.       Get a few friends to read your raw manuscript. No matter how many people say don't do this because your friends can be yes men. Wrong. If they are really your friends, they will tell you the truth whether you like it or not...at least that's how ALL of my friends are. Surprisingly, I never thought it would come in handy but it did. I had one of my friends read my manuscript for fun, and instead of just reading it, she edited the thing. You’d be surprised how much you don't see no matter how many times you set your work down and come back to it. She voluntarily did it and it helped me out a lot. Another thing, when I was going to submit my manuscript with all the spaces, I asked her did it look bad, because you know when you get tired of something, you try to find reason that it looks good, well the two girls that I let see it really let me have it. I was like dang, you didn't have to say it like that, but I needed somebody to say hold on girl, that looks like shit and you know it. Now you know that's gone stand out. My advice is find your most opinionated friend and go for it and it’s not like you have to do what they say, but it certainly wouldn't hurt you to consider it.

10.   Take a break. This is a job. Self-publishing is tedious work and don't let anybody tell you it’s not, because you'll never know it until you've done it yourself. Give your mind a break. Give your hands a break. Trust me you'll be surprised how differently you'll see things.

11.   If you got the money. Pay somebody to edit, proofread, and format your book for you. I didn’t have that type of money, so I had to do everything myself. You know when I was getting into this business and I'd see the rates and I'd wonder why editors and proofreaders cost hundreds of bucks...I get it now. They'll save you time and all you have to worry about is writing.

12.   Try it independently at least once. You'll be even prouder of your work. I refer to myself as an indie or independent publisher, because I do everything. I don't just publish, I edit, proofread, create my cover, mange, and promote. Will I do it again? Heck yea! It’s always hard the first time around when you don't know what to do, but since I've done it before, I know what to do and where I can save myself sometime at later.

Honestly, if I'd had the money before, I would've paid someone to it, but since I've done once, I can't see myself doing it any other way. Again, it’s really up to you as a person, but these twelve tips will definitely make your journey a little bit smoother. Don't let all the things you hear scare you. I wouldn't say it’s a hard process, it’s just super challenging (and yes, there's a difference). The most challenging part to me is promotions, but you adjust. I haven't really been ready to focus completely on that until now, so I'm interested in seeing how this side goes. The best way to find out is step out there on that limb and experience what happens next for yourself.

Until next time readers!

Queen B...and the B is not for Breean...deuces!