I have so many mixed emotions right now. I am happy. I am scared as freak and part of me doesn't even know what to feel. My article hit today. I haven't seen it, but I imagine it hit front cover because I have already been getting responses. After all, it's not like I didn't know what I was getting myself into in the first place. My sister called my like ten minutes ago to look up my book. She works downtown at the courthouse, so of course, they get the papers first. I'm way down here in the country and I may not even see that paper until tomorrow. Anywhoo, back to the story. She called me from the courthouse. You know everybody in the office she works in is like family, so everybody was looking. I could hear them in the background. They was like come on give me the title some we can find you girl. I was like, oh no, there's a curse word in it, that's why I didn't put the series title in the paper. I know how much I brag about my book. I am so proud of my book to everybody except my family and their older friends. I mean my people are very religious and this is not the type of book I would want to show to my church family. Til this day, my mother is the only older person in my family who knows that I write. The only thing my mother is in the dark about is the cover. I never showed my mother the cover because I know she's going to try to find the book even though I told her never to read what I write. I consider myself the grey sheep of the family. I am not pure and white, but I am also not the total screw up that you'd expect from a black sheep. I told you guys before that I academically known in the community, but I never in a million years thought that one article could create such a buzz. I am proud of who I am and what I do, but I'll be honest, there is some doubt. I find myself struggling between who I am and what other people view me as. Writing erotica is sort of like breaking the chains between the two. I want to break out of what everybody expects of me, but I am kind of reluctant to see what may happen after those chains have broken. I'm excited to see what's next and I am relieved that everybody important to me knows now. A weight has been lifted, now I can do what matters most to me and that's write.
This is sooo ridiculous that I have to say this, but I honestly don't know how I want to release my next book. I am still adding on like I informed you in my last post, but I don't know when to stop. Most writers, if not all, get that feeling of when to end a book. I just haven't gotten that feeling yet. I don't know if part of what I am writing is going going to be the end of book 2 or the beginning of book 3. I won't know until I get everything in print and then I can see where I want to go from there.
Until next time, tell me what you think.